Saturday, December 7, 2013

How to Change a Roll of Toilet Paper

Sometimes people go a little overboard

So the writer is running low on material in keeping with the topic. Nope, as every dog or cat owner or parent of toddlers knows, there is a better way to install that most needed inventory in most people’s favourite reading room.

While it may in fact be slightly more efficient to the user to have the first piece closest to you, the pet owners and parents know that you are just going to end up wasting another roll of that valuable commodity. Seems that when the cat, dog or toddler gets effected by the latest lunar table high activity time they go into one of those crazy fits of activity that are otherwise quite unexplainable. Seems paws and little hands cannot resist the need to expel a pile of pent up energy on blinding speed repetitive paw or hand pulls and the job is not complete until the entire roll is on the floor. Only the truly mean parent tells another member of the family to roll it all back up on the cardboard cone.

And for those truly lazy individuals that do nothing more than put a new roll on top of the bathroom sink counter you are just tempting basic physics. Just as all golf course superintendents know, all water eventually finds its way downhill (well at least the good ones know that). Placing a roll of toilet paper on the counter is just asking for trouble since it will attempt to seek the middle of the sink when you first begin to run water in it, thus rendering the valuable commodity totally useless except for maybe a good projectile to be used in college dormitory fights.

And I would expect that all bathrooms in hell are always out of toilet paper (if there are any). That is something that I do hope you never find out just as Terry Fox and Nelson Mandela will never know. I’m sure they are having a really nice conversation. Maybe Terry is trying to explain ice hockey to Nelson. And I bet they are having a good laugh, too. They both earned that right.

Have a nice day and check the toilet paper stock. It is also good at catching tears.

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