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| Not what you think but we would all play badly if she was on the course with us (and we wouldn't much care you know) |
And it would also work on Jack Nicklaus I would think.
I haven’t played much golf in the past few years because
quite frankly it wasn’t much fun anymore. I probably had a 16 or 17 handicap at
one time or another. Games are about fun and winning is just the result of
having way too much fun. But I’m going to dust off the clubs real soon because
I now have two offers to play golf in my current place of residence in the city
of London, Ontario.
One is with a friend who happens to be the golf pro at a
private club in town. He was also my boss at a now non-existent course North
West of Toronto and we both just decided that London is a better choice of a
place to live for very different reasons.
The other is from two friends that I haven’t seen in
approximately 40 years when we worked together in the sporting goods industry
back in the day of wooden hockey sticks and hockey gloves with cuffs that
actually protected your wrists. One of these fine gentlemen (they are both
chuckling right now) currently lives just outside Toronto and the other
currently lives in Tucson, Arizona. And guess who is organizing the golf day—the
one in Tucson of course and yes we will be playing in London, Ontario and not
Tucson which has a bagillion courses to choose from. (Yah it’s that ending a
sentence with a preposition thing).
And that is part of my plan to beat Tiger. I’m going to try
and get Lee Trevino and David Feherty to fill out the foursome since my friends
will probably be busy doing something more important. Lee and David would be
more familiar to you so you will understand my tactics better if I use them in
the example. I will keep Bill Murray available as a backup in case one can’t make
it.
Ending as many sentences with a preposition, bending every
rule of golf possible (Tiger does that too though so it won’t be that
effective), singing fun songs at the right moment, telling jokes non-stop,
saying nice shot in the middle of a backswing (learned that from John Daly), get a bunch of those bozos that shout "get in the hole" to do that on everyone of Tiger's swings and
doing everything else, that we all considered just fun, to throw him off his
game.
He is way too serious and I think that is why his game isn't
as spectacular as it was before. I think the other players know how to get to
him and they have developed a sort of upper hand psychologically like Lee
Trevino did back in that day. If Feherty ever stopped talking, (which he seldom
does you know) well that would help. Between the two of them I think Tiger or
Jack would just storm off the course in a great huff much liked Ted Knight did
in response to Rodney Dangerfield.
Yes it’s already been done, but it would be sooooo much fun
to repeat it on Tiger and then we’d all go have a beer or two and forget about
the game and have some more fun. That’s what I plan to do with my friends soon
just like I did when golf was a fun game with all my other friends that I
played golf with. (dangle, dangle, exploding preposition)
We’re all going to be dead a really long time.
Sing it Sheryl…
…all I wanna’ do is have some fun…
(pretty good pic of her isn't it. She could do more of that, too. She does light up a room when she miles)
(pretty good pic of her isn't it. She could do more of that, too. She does light up a room when she miles)
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