Quantifying Someone Else’s Personality

Some would argue that you can't put a number on a personality. Still, I am attempting to show a way to "measure" someone else's personality traits in the context of how you perceive them, using your own values as a reference. It is also intended to account for the fact that these traits are dynamic and will change over time. 

All the studies I took on the subject, in the past, always seem to try to put them into a fixed box and I had a great deal of difficulty accepting that notion especially when I put it in reference to friends who seem to demonstrate a tendency to have shifts in the traits from one time or another and, being male, noticed that to be even more prevalent on how the opposite sex reacted to me with pretty much the same conditions in place on my side.

And when I look at the image at the top, I find I fit into all the boxes now quite a lot, and maybe that is a sign that, as you get older, you can develop a more well-rounded personality and jump in and out of it as the situation dictates. Some days I find myself more one type than the other, and the same is true about the time of day.

I suggest the scale depicted here, with coloured bars denoting two personality traits and how comfortable or uncomfortable I am with those in the other person. The first one shows I'm comfortable with number 1 but not with number 2. And since I don't like the concept of a fixed position or box, they are relative to mine and have many degrees or levels of intensity, much like a gradient scale has.

So Number 1 could be Cooperative/Uncooperative and Number 2 could be Respectful/Disrespectful in the measure below. I am extremely comfortable with the first (very cooperative) and not so with how they show respect for others (quite disrespectful). So you would have to decide how important each trait is and perhaps put them into a hierarchy, either mentally or in hard-copy versions for business use.

Now, some are saying, "Why would you do this, and what purpose does it serve?" Well, the Internet seems to have spawned several problems in communicating with others, in that it is quite sterile in how it handles human contact. You do not sense the same things in a conversation with others in a chat window like you would face-to-face. You certainly can't get their body language (without video help). Voice inflections and accents would be mostly muted or difficult to convey, and their mood is very hard to discern as well. ALL CAPS can be seen as anger, shouting, or rudeness, and as very happy if mixed, as in the phrase "you are wonderful TYVM".

So you might be involved in a group discussion with people from many countries (and business is facing this now, since so many are worldwide), and you want to assess someone as a new member of that group and identify the desirable traits you all want in that candidate. This measurement scale, depicted above, can help set reference points for the parties to share and agree on where they see the "candidate" fitting on each trait. A sales manager in Quebec, Canada, can work with the Marketing Department in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, to understand how an effective advertising program would work in that part of Canada, using personality scales to drive the point home.

The reason a lot of US-based operations (and, for that matter, the rest of Canada) fail so badly in the province of Quebec is that they fail to understand the significant differences in personality between the two, and a lot of hard work goes all for naught. They try to force their own approach on one that does not accept it the same way, and it ends up being much like the "Talk louder and slower" approach to speaking to a "foreigner" that some Americans use abroad. It just doesn't work, leaving a sour taste in the "foreigners'" mouths, and they grow to dislike each other instead of trying to work out their communication and personality differences. I had extensive hands-on exposure to this in action, and it is a reality that isn't limited to that locale. Add other languages into the mix, religion, and lots more miles, and it gets even more complex, and the Internet largely ignores these important differences.

Understanding others is sort of a passion with me, and I take great pride in getting better and better at it. I have been told that I should work as a diplomat because of how I approach others in potentially contentious environments. Still, the truth is, if you tick me off long enough, you get both barrels, backed by an Uzi, a bazooka, or a tank, depending on how inflexible the other person gets. A dynamic personality can jump from one end of the scale to the other in a short period if the right conditions arise, which can help explain why someone calm and very cooperative can switch very quickly. Simply put, someone just really "pissed them off" in a big way, so you get the brunt of your actions back. That is honesty/dishonesty in action and can even go hard left on the scale, which some see as going overboard, but it can also be perceived as "straight-shooting". 

Sometimes agreeing to disagree and walking away is the best way to deal with these situations, and using that personality trait measuring system helps tell you how far apart each of you is from one another. You can either let the sleeping dogs lie or undo the leashes and let them go frolic in the fields and have a party. I like the second one a lot more, thank you.