Tuesday, July 30, 2013

How Spoiling a Child Fails

In fact, you are actually ruining your child’s future by doing what you think is a good thing. You are sending some very dangerous messages that can often result in a child developing into an unprepared adult.

Parents who both work to try and keep up with the bigger oversize ego box aka family house (it’s not really a home) and chasing the next bimmer (BMW, Porsche, Cadillac, Mercedes, whatever) are sending a very bad message to their children.

“You are not as important to us as the money we earn”.

So you try to use that money to buy things for them when all they really want is your time, love and attention. So on Friday night, you give them $50 to send them to the movies because you are too tired to deal with them now. Something is very wrong here. You decided to have children but you don’t want to devote the right resources to developing those children. They don’t need a bigger house and a bigger or better car. They need their parents to spend time with them to learn from the most important influences in their young lives.

So you need to change your values as parents and work on doing what is required to raise children in this world whether it was like when you grew up, what the world is now and what it will become for your children. If you don’t send them out into the world prepared, then how are they going to cope, raise children, respect all the things that are important, develop lasting relationships, etc. etc.?

You have made a commitment to those children when they arrived in this world. It is that you will do whatever you can to ensure that they get the necessary (important word here is necessary) training, values and resources that they need to grow up into a well-balanced young adult.
As a society, we have put way too much value on frivolous things like the big house, the bimmer, the best smartphone, designer clothes, the best sports equipment, and the club membership and to what end. Much of this stuff just gets parceled out in a very unpleasant divorce settlement because the parents argue over how they don’t love the children enough and ultimately each other.

And guess what, it’s true. You have shown that you love money and what it buys more than your family so you deserve to lose it all since your sense of what is truly valuable is all out of whack. And the children have no idea what is truly valuable so they just start doing really dumb and bad things and they aren't prepared to take the next step and many just don’t.

If there is any chance that society can get back to what is important, it starts at home and the smart parents already know that it is in their hands. They don’t have a problem saying no to their children because they know they will understand their explanation as to why, which is all part of loving your children.

Discipline, respect, love, educating, and sharing time all combine to create very valuable components to the lost art of family values. The acquisition of expensive trinkets does not add value to the family experience. History will show that the cause of the more recent decline of the nuclear family is largely due to the change in focus that the family took. And the parents are the ones who chose this new focus.

It is time to adjust your life lens and zoom in on what is important. Point the camera downward just a little; they are down there by your feet tugging at your designer business suit.

Was it all worth it?

Interesting when I Googled "Expensive Houses" for images, not a single person was present in the pictures. Kind of explains why they are not homes.

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