Friday, November 28, 2008

The Rambler


(With apologies to Kenny Rogers)
(Sung to the tune of the Gambler)

On a warm summer’s morning
On a green grassy fairway
Met up with a foursome
We were both too tired to speak
So we took turns a swearin’
At the golf balls and the hazards
A threesome overtook us
And we began to speak

He said men I’ve spent a lifetime
Of reading people’s backswings
Knowing where the ball goes
By the way they held their clubs
So if you don’t mind me saying
I can see you’re slicin’ badly
And I ain't no expert
But I’ll give you some advice

So I showed them a golf grip
Got to learn it from your golf pro
Teed the ball and swung away
And started hitting straight
And the play got deathly quiet
And their faces they said thank you
So if you’re gonna’ learn the game boy
You got to learn to play it right

You got to know when to shut up
Know when to play through
Know when to zip it up
Know when to leave
You never tell the punch line
In the middle of their backswing
They’ll be time enough for laughing
When the swingings done
 
And when he finished speaking
He turned back to the foursome
Wished them all the best of luck
And drove off down the path
And somewhere on the golf course
The rambler he got even
And in his final pass
Found a Pro-V he could keep

You got to know when to shut up
Know when to play through
Know when to zip it up
Know when to leave
You never tell the punch line
In the middle of their backswing
They’ll be time enough for laughing
When the swingings done

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